Making Transitions and Changes

Making Transitions and Changes
Going back to school can be a difficult and often worrying time for both the child and parent. Transitions and changes are never easy, so to help you and your child have a stress-free experience, we have some expert advice and tips on everything you will need to know to support your child through this time.
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Does your child going back to school cause emotions to fluctuate between excitement and apprehension in your home? Take heart, says Dorit Braun, chief executive of the national charity Parentline Plus - you're not alone.

 

A new school year

The school year is a time of transition and change for every child. A new term, new teacher or new peers -particularly if there have been problems in the past - can leave both child and parent feeling uneasy.

But going from nursery to primary, primary to secondary or starting a significant year with important exams can be even more distressing; and for parents it can be tough sending your child off to school if they are anxious.

Preparation is the key to success for that first day back at school. Finding a routine again near the end of the holidays can really make a difference in helping children get used to the regime of the school day.

Keeping routines

Practical examples include getting back to school-night bedtimes (as when sleep patterns are out it can make it more difficult for children to get back into the classroom culture and affect their ability to concentrate) and getting back into the breakfast routines and meal times so children get used to a regime again.

The school day can feel very long and exhausting when children are used to lazy summer days at home. Parents can help their children keep their enthusiasm for learning and encourage their ability to concentrate by keeping some routine throughout the summer, for example bedtime reading.

Holiday time

Parents who are off with the kids can visit an array of educational museums, exhibitions and events, many of which are free and very child-friendly. Libraries across the country have reading schemes every summer to encourage reading - the added bonus is children can win awards and certificates for doing this. Other examples include encouraging children to write diaries and create scrap books of their summer holiday. Primary children are often asked to write about their summer holidays in the first week back and this can help to jog their memory.

Children benefit from encouragement and reassurance from their parents about going back to school, and from having anxieties listened to and taken seriously. Parents also need to feel able to talk over their fears and worries so they can support their children.

Primary to secondary transition

Parentline Plus often hears from parents about how vital the transition is from primary to secondary school. Following various consultations and feedback from parents the charity commissioned a national survey carried out by Ipsos MORI. The survey questioned more than 2,000 people about their views on children making the transition to ‘big school'.

The findings showed that parents worry about bullying, peer pressure, drugs and alcohol, with the daunting teenage years just around the corner. Parents also said they were worried about having less influence on their children and were saddened that they would miss the companionship of other parents in the primary school playground and the close contact with their children's teacher. With nearly half of all calls to the charity's 24-hour, free confidential helpline from parents of teenagers, this is not that surprising. Parents talk frequently about feeling isolated and alone in their role as a parent.

Back to school tips

Here are some great tips put together for parents by parents to help you and your child, as the family faces the change to secondary school.

Getting prepared

  • Once your child has a place at a school, make sure you aren't taking a holiday at the time of the open days which most secondary schools arrange for the new intake
  • Make sure you have the right uniform if applicable and if this is expensive contact the schools or the local education authority about getting help with the cost
  • Schools usually send out lists of items needed. Make it into a shopping trip and go together with your child to choose the items
  • Encourage your child to talk about any feelings of nervousness and tell them that all children feel nervous when they first go to ‘big' school.

The journey

Your child's journey to school will probably take a new and unfamiliar route, possibly involving a longer walk, bike ride or public transport.

  • Find out whether the local education authority lays on buses for the journey, especially if you live in a rural area
  • Where possible, practise the journey with your child a few times beforehand
  • If the local education authority (LEA) provides transport costs, make sure to apply for a bus pass in good time and impress on your child the importance of keeping it in a safe place
  • Make sure your child always has ‘emergency money' (separate from any other money) in case she or he forgets their pass, needs alternative transport or has to phone for help. You could also provide them with a phone card if you think it is too early for them to have a mobile phone.

You and the school

Many parents tell us that once their child goes to secondary school, the friends they made at the primary school gate are not around so much. Parents say that they feel isolated and miss the sharing of ideas and problems with other parents.

  • Find out more about the school's meetings with parents and if there is a Parent Teacher Association, make contact to find out what events they lay on
  • Make a point of signing the home school agreement and use the opportunity to ask any questions you have about the new school
  • Talk to your child's class teacher about any problems you or your child may have
  • If you and your partner are separated, tell the school and make sure they include a non-resident partner in any mailing.

Further information

Parentline Plus has produced top tips for parents by parents on the back to school theme which can be found at parentlineplus.org.uk Parents and carers who would like to speak to someone who understands can call Parentline on 0808 8002222.