Children's Behaviour

How to beat the bully

Everyone has a role to play in stamping out bullying, but the bystander has one of the most powerful ones. By Denise Roberts

Worried parents

Concerns about bullying are constant for parents. When parents ask their children ‘How was school today?' what they often really mean is, ‘Were you safe today?'

If it sounds daunting, don't blame me. According to the charity Parentline Plus, bullying is the concern that tops the parenting poll, everytime.

Findings show that fear becomes particularly acute as children head off to high school. This time of change can bring great excitement for parents and their children as well as anxieties of what awaits them.

The Bystander

In previous years the emphasis of anti-bullying was on the bystander. American author and lecturer Barbara Coloroso, noted for her work on the dynamics of bullying, says the bystander has the power to either aid and abet the bully, or to become the peacemaker.

But she shows that it isn't that simple when she retells the story of how a little girl once spoke up for a younger sibling being bullied at school, and afraid to tell, only to be told by the teacher: ‘Now, Rosie, we don't squeal here!' I wonder where children got the idea that says it isn't cool to tell.

Children look at ways to stamp out bullying

The dynamics of bullying throws up challenges on all sides, but if we can get kids to ‘develop a code of compassion' we're half way there, if we can develop caring schools an involved communities, we're a third of the way. More...

Who needs a super nanny! Find information, features, tips and advice on bringing out the best in your child yourself - whether your child has specific behavioural difficulties or not. Allay any concerns regarding your children's behaviour, look at how different children react to different environments, and find out how to tackle bullying and related issues.