Can having an argument be positive? Does a child who loves to argue have a upper hand at school? Ross Watson argues that people who believe nothing good can come from arguing obviously never had kids
Can arguing be positive?
It’s probably one of the most frustrating moments in the life of a parent: the day when you tell your child what not to do before receiving a look of contempt and an unnervingly quick-witted retort. You’re now in real argument territory for the first time, and you may be forgiven for thinking that it’s the end of a beautiful friendship. But on the contrary, it may only just be the beginning.
According to American author Michael A Gilbert you can learn an awful lot about a person by arguing with them, and a surprising amount of what you learn is positive. ‘First, you learn what they believe about the issue at hand and why they believe it. Second, from the way they argue you also learn about their values, their beliefs, and the ways in which they present them. You end up not only with insights into your argument partners’ positions, but their entire worldview as well.’
Arguing well
Granted, a continuous exchange of insults is not likely to teach you much, other than a few new words. But, an argument with substance enables a young person to exercise a number of academic abilities which will take them very far when used in the correct context.
For instance, when writing to argue in a GCSE paper, your child will be expected to put forward a well-considered point of view, offer substantial support for this point of view, and tactfully counter other valid points of view.
This line of thinking will become even more paramount in the latter stages of the education system, and should therefore be nurtured at a young age.
Dr Roger Schank, founder of the institute for Learning Sciences at Northwestern University in America, believes that arguments are essential in learning as the ability to construct them is central to reasoning. ‘The skills of generating hypotheses and evaluating them are critical in the understanding cycle. Students can only learn these skills by engaging in them.’
Schank also notes that when students are arguing in order to practice the skill, the subject matter becomes almost irrelevant; such is the educational value of the activity in itself.
The English Speaking Union knows this better than most and run a number of debate programmes across the country, and even the world, in an effort to nurture these skills and build friendships in the process (see box).
So, the next time you have an argument with your son or daughter, take it in your stride and look upon it as a learning experience for you both!
Why you should encourage your child to debate…more