Living with ADHD

What is ADHD?

ADHD, or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder to give it its full name, can look like bad behaviour. Ignoring instructions, carelessness, disorganization, running around when it's just not appropriate, blurting out the answer before the question is asked, not waiting in line, and so on and so on. But when you put all these things together and have them happen day in, day out to an otherwise gorgeous child, they become an exhausting condition that drives parents crazy.

What are the symptoms of ADHD?

ADHD has three main features according to Professor Paul Cooper from Leicester University. 'The first thing is impulsivity - the inability to think things through; then inattention - difficulty sticking with the task at hand, and hyperactivity - an impaired ability to inhibit and regulate physical ability,' he explains. 'But not every child has all three. Girls tend to be inattentive, vague and day-dreamers, boys hyperactive, loud and excitable.'

Professor Peter Hill, a psychiatrist who specialises in ADHD, warns that the condition can be easily missed in girls. 'Three or four times as many boys are diagnosed with ADHD as girls,' he says, 'because hyperactivity is easier to spot. But just because a girl is quiet, doesn't mean she has ADHD.'

Of course not every child who daydreams, has endless energy, or flits from one thing to another has ADHD. But if your child has more than their fair share of these difficulties and you are worried, make an appointment with your GP. If they share your concerns they can refer your child to a specialist clinic for a thorough assessment.

ADHD in Children

Amanda Wills used to despair when she heard her son Matthew was being disruptive again. Then she learned that he suffered from ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder).

It's Sunday morning and eight-year-old Matthew Wills is the busiest boy on the football pitch - dodging, leaping on his team mate, turning cartwheels, watching the planes overhead. He's busy, but it's not always to the point. A year ago Matthew was diagnosed with ADHD.

'In nursery, they used to say he was aggressive and uncontrollable,' says Amanda, Matthew's mum, 'and at home I had to supervise him constantly because he didn't see danger - he would dart into the road or climb to the top of the climbing frame and let go to wave.'

She continues: 'I was exhausted. When he went to school I'd dread the daily call to tell me that he'd been disruptive or disobedient again. Finally, a teacher completely lost her temper with him because he wouldn't keep still in PE. It was then the health visitor suggested he may have ADHD.'

How can Parents help their child?

'It's important that parents don't blame themselves,' says Dr Pamela Maras, a researcher from the University of Greenwich. 'It's not their fault their child has ADHD, but they can help their child learn social rules by being consistent.'

All children need clear instructions patiently given, but ADHD children need them time and time again. 'I've learnt that I have to treat Matthew and Charlotte the same,' says Amanda. 'He has to face the consequences of his actions just as Charlotte does. It's the only way he'll learn.'

Medication? The Ritalin debate.

Experts agree that learning the rules of good behaviour is often easier for a child with ADHD who has a little medical help. But it's a tough call for parents to make. No-one likes giving drugs to children but many parents opt to give them because they need to survive. They're not being selfish, just realistic. 'I knew the Ritalin was working for Matthew the first day he took it,' says Amanda. 'For the first day ever I didn't get a call from the school!'

Some parents use the drugs as respite care and some go in for the long haul. It's a personal decision dependent on each child's needs. 'The average length of time that children take medication is two years,' says Peter Hill. So it's not forever. Other families swear by alternative remedies. Diets low in additives like colourings and flavourings work for some, while fish-oil supplements have recently hit the headlines with claims of great results. A couple of years ago, a US study even suggested that nicotine may help adolescents with ADHD, though unsurprisingly they didn't recommend it!

Approaching ADHD positively

The important thing, though, is to do something. 'Children with ADHD are often as unhappy as their parents,' says Professor Hill, 'because they have to live their lives to a soundtrack of nagging.' The constant failure and criticism can cause low self-esteem, frustration, anger, and finally withdrawal. Positive action will undoubtedly improve the situation.

The good news is that by late adolescence and with the help of their parents, many children learn to manage their behaviour in more socially acceptable ways. Life for the family living with ADHD then becomes a little easier. Thankfully for Amanda and her son Matthew they can already see the light at the end of the tunnel.