When a child comes home and says they have been bullied it can leave a parent with a range of emotions – from anger to worry. And no wonder: bullying often leaves a child mentally scarred and, in extreme cases, feeling suicidal. It can completely ruin a child’s experience and memory of school as many adults bullied as children can testify.
Although bullying can be just as present in primary schools, parental concern is especially acute when children move on to secondary school. According to a Parentline Plus MORI poll commissioned last year over half of the 2,117 mums and dads questioned cited bullying as a main concern at this time.
One parent told the charity, ‘My daughter left a distressing note on our bed one night telling us that she was being bullied at school. A survey had been done in her class by one of the girls to find out “who hated her”. They then gave her the finished survey, which devastated her.’
When Bullying UK (then called Bullying Online) carried out The National Bullying Survey in 2006 – the largest ever investigation into school bullying in the UK – they were shocked to find that 69 per cent of children had complained of bullying with each suffering on average six different types. Types can include name-calling, making threats, spreading rumours or telling lies to get the person into trouble, stealing their possessions or ostracising a child from his or her friends.
‘The problem is changing rather than improving because bullies are exploiting new methods of technology like mobile phones and social networking websites to target their victims,’ says Liz Carnell of Bullying UK. ‘These are actually worse than traditional forms of bullying because the humiliation is so public when the website address is passed around to hundreds of people at school.
She adds: ‘We are trying to educate young people because many think if they do this anonymously they won't be found out but the police can easily make inquiries and find out exactly which computer abuse came from.’
Stamping out bullying is a team effort between children, parents, teachers and education authorities. This year National Anti-Bullying Week, which takes place from 17 to 21 November, will be touring Clash!, a theatrical production tackling bullying and victimisation. Clash! is about people who suffer bullying because they are different and will help schools to make a strong statement of non-tolerance towards bullying, while giving their students the chance to explore the issues, and the importance of their own role in combating it.
Parentline Plus UK’s response to bullying has been to launch ‘Be Someone to Tell’, a campaign looking at what parents really worry about and offering top tips from parents who have been there. The charity also promotes its parent-to-parent support services, plus its family of leaflets and web material on bullying.
‘Children benefit from encouragement and reassurance from their parents, and from having their anxieties listened to and taken seriously, but parents also need to feel able to talk over their fears and worries so they can support their children,’ says Parentline Plus chief executive Dorit Braun.
