Moving schools: Primary to secondary

Is your child moving up from primary to secondary school over the coming months? The transition from a comfortable primary school to a brand new secondary can be difficult for many children and parents, but knowing what to expect and preparing well will help your child have a happy and successful new school year.

When children move schools from primary to secondary, this is a time of great change not only for the child but also for the family as a whole as this transition is a period of growth, learning and independence. Children naturally have mixed feelings about this change.

Eleven year-old Chris explains his feelings: 'I was scared that I might not make any friends and that I'd get bullied, though I was excited too because it was such a big step in my life.'

Children worry about getting lost, as the school is much bigger and looks like a maze of endless corridors with thousands of people, or they worry about not fitting in, or having the mickey taken out of them if they don't like sport, or football. They worry about their physical appearance, their spelling, their journey - the list is endless.

How you can help your child cope

Try asking your child these three questions:

• What is the best thing about your new school?
• What will you miss most about your old school?
• What is the scariest thing about your new school?

Talking through issues and concerns with your child builds their confidence and gives them support in coping with the practical and emotional worries they may be experiencing.

Many larger schools have their own websites, and many of the questions that come up can be found on them. You can find out about school trips, sports fixtures, homework expectations, and the choice of clubs on offer, which can all help alleviate the uncertainty.

As moving schools can be a stressful time, don't be surprised if your child loses their temper or gets irritable more often. They may start to argue with you over trivial things like their school uniform, packed lunch or pencil case. Remember, as a parent to keep your mind on the bigger picture of supporting your child through these changes and be patient with them.

Top tips for kids starting a new secondary school

• Make sure you are organised - pack your bags, pencil cases, and so forth, the night before school so you don't have to worry in the morning
• Never be afraid to ask for help, or talk to someone you trust, like your mum or dad, or tutor
• Always make the first effort to make new friends - it will help you meet new classmates and make the social side of school far more enjoyable
• First impressions last a long time, so make sure yours are good ones - for organisation, presentation, and behaviour! This is your chance to make a fresh start - embrace it and make the most of all the new opportunities. Try out clubs and activities. And always remember you will make new friends!
• Make notes and write down anything you need to remember
• Find out the layout of the school, and learn where your classrooms are (and the toilets!)
• Find out your timetable and remember it. Find out what time you need to be at school, and what time you need to go home!
• Make sure you know what uniform you need, and what to bring in or wear for sport
• And finally - try to enjoy yourself. Making new friends and learning new things is an exciting time so try to get past your nerves and just remember that everyone else is in the same boat, so have a good time!

A nice way to think of secondary school is not as a 'wild jungle', but more like a 'human zoo', with lots of interesting animals. The zoo keepers are there to help you - and make you feel at home.

As parents it's important to see this experience as something positive - if you are upbeat, so are your children.

Sue Atkins is a parent coach and author of Raising Happy Children for Dummies one in the famous black and yellow series.She's also mum to two teenage children. She has written many books on self esteem, toddlers and teenagers and has a collection of Parenting Made Easy Toolkits available from her website. To find out more about her work and to receive her free monthly newsletter packed full of practical tips and helpful advice for bringing up happy, confident, well-balanced children visit positive-parents.com